Sunday, 27 July 2014

The Lion City - Singapore, my home.

Hey all beautiful people out there reading this. I'm very excited for my new story. It's titled, Imperfect Love Without Defiance on Wattpad. Go check it out if you want to. I'll also post the story on my blog soon because my friend couldn't download the application. Anyways, I can't wait to update a few things that happened in the period of time when I didn't manage to update my blog. As much as I love being a blogger, I'm sorry I didn't update my blog in awhile.

Alright, so let's begin!! School has been okay, I still can manage. Hope everyone out there is also having a good time. If anything bad happened, feel free to contact me. I'll be here (: Okay, so apparently it's my first time blogging something about my homeland, Singapore, as you can tell from the title. So let's begin and let me introduce my homeland. YAY!!


Ever seen a few elderly selling packets of tissues from table to tables in coffee shops or standing at the sides, asking people who walk pass them if they want to buy any tissues?? Okay, so on a Wednesday evening, 23 July 2014, 7.05pm outside Nex shopping mall stood a very old uncle aged 60-70. He was wearing a blue polo t-shirt and a dark blue pants, standing beside a pillar outside Starhub, selling 2 packets of tissues for $1. Some people who walked past him didn't even spared him a glance. Maybe they were tired and needed to rush home but maybe they also didn't want to buy tissue papers from him, thinking either they already have one in their bags or at home or it's a waste of money. I'm stating this situation not from my own point of view but a few positive and negative perspectives. There were uncles, aunties and a few teens/students bought 2 packet of tissues from him but gave him $2. You all might think that one dollar is just a small amount of money but you never realised that there are people out there who values money like their own lives. A small amount of money counts, though you may not know. I'm impressed by the people who's willing to give more than they receive, it's the thoughts that count. I'm very happy that Singaporeans have empathy towards people in need of help. That uncle's leg was probably aching when I saw him. He kept massaging his left leg while selling tissues. He wore a tag saying that selling tissues is his income. When I approached him, I bought 2 packets of tissue from him and gave him $2. He needed it. At the point in time, it was considered late for an old man like him. I didn't know if he have had his dinner already or not or how long have he been standing there. All I did after buying the tissues was that I stood near him and observe people ignoring him and people who approached him. Before I left, I approached him again at around 7.20pm. This time round, I purchased 2 more packets of tissues from him for $5. Yes, people might think that it's so not worth it, buying 4 packets of tissues for $7 but he needed the money. People may think I'm rich, but I'm not. I happened to have spare money in my wallet. Imagine if one day, you were to be like him, would you feel great having people to ignore you, pretend not to see you and didn't even spare you a look or paused for a moment to look at what you're selling? Would you feel great standing at a place, alone and asking every single people if they want to buy your tissues? Yes, you might have tissues in your bag, at home or you think you don't need to buy or you don't think that there's a need to buy 2 packets of tissues from that uncle for $1 when you can buy 10 packets for a cheaper price at supermarkets, value shops or provision shops, however selling tissues was the only income that uncle have and I think that people should have more empathy for people like him. You never know when you will be like him. He may be old, but he is still a human, with limbs, earning an income to support himself. People should not despise him because he is working, by selling tissues and by using a decent way to earn an income even though he is old. $7 for 4 packets of tissues was worth it.


"The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others."

"Help others and give something back. I guarantee you will discover that while public service improves the lives and the world around you, its greatest reward is the enrichment and new meaning it will bring your own life."

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others

Singapore is going to be 49 years old soon in 9 August 2014. I'm thankful for everything I have and I am today, if not for you, Singapore.

By the way, I went to Esplanade Theatre Studio yesterday to catch a play by William Shakespeare: Coriolanus. I have to admit at the start, I didn't really understand the plot and it got boring and to an extent where I almost fell asleep but eventually, it got really intense and Coriolanus died in the end. I just want to say that Shakespeare's plays all are either have a very sad ending or a very happy ending. Example, Romeo and Juliet is one of my memorable story. Though they died and it's very saddening, they could be together at last. And The Merchant of Venice. "All that glisters is not gold" It had a happy ending after all that they have gone through. Shakespeare's language is something I have to work on and literature is actually a very fun subject but it can be tough if you don't understand.

Lastly, I want to end this blog post off with a big thank you to all that have been reading my blog. Pardon my English, grammars and tenses and all that stuff, I'm still working on my English, hoping it can get better. I want to wish everyone to have a good and fun day. Live each day like it's going to end tomorrow. Have a nice weekend!!

Love ya all beautiful people (:


~Eileen.

 
Tom Hiddleston as Coriolanus
 
 
 
 
 
"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable."
 
"My only love sprung from my only hate."
 
"Love looks not with eyes but with the mind."
 
~ L.O.V.E ~

Friday, 27 June 2014

Short Update

Hey guys, it's Eileen here. Maybe I've decided to use my real name since it's my blog. Alright so this is just a short update.

Okay so first, June is coming to an end soon and I'm not hoping for the next month to be good, honestly. There's so much things happening now and I can't describe my feelings with just simple sentences. Maybe I won't be blogging as much as I do before if/when the time comes. I just had to deal with some things. Sorry if I can't be precise about what, please do respect me for keeping it a secret. I might consider telling some friends around me, but then maybe not. Everything, trust me, everything for now is very messed up. I just hope it won't affect me and my studies. It's hard to explain at the moment because maybe some of you don't even care. But I guess I still can manage it.

Secondly, my fourth story is coming out soon. I might not be posting them here but you sure can check it out at Wattpad.com/annoying_e . I really hope you guys would enjoy and like that because I am definitely pumped about the releasing date for the first chapter. Aren't you guys curious about the title?? Hint: first word - Imperfect , second word - Love , third word - 2 syllabus and fourth word - 3 syllabus. Yas, this might be frustrating to guess, and annoying because I keeping it a suspense but y'know what?? You guys will know when the time comes (; Sorry about that.

Thirdly, Summer is about to end and that's when hell's gonna start. If you know what I mean. Though school is HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, AWFUL, FUCKED UP AND LIKE HELL, it gives us the education for a further education in the future, which will lead to getting higher and higher degrees which will then be useful in finding ourselves a proper, stable and good income job. Well, I can't shut my brain because it always ramble so many complex things that even I'm afraid, tbh.

So I'm gonna end here. Have fun with your last few days of summer and all the best, from the bottom of my heart to everyone reading this for school/work. If you guys, anyone of you, here reading this, ever wish giving up or do something foolish, please don't. You've made it through half of 2014, you've come so far so please don't ever give up. There'll always be someone out there loving you and wanting to befriend you, truthfully.

x Peace Out x

~Eileen.

Sunday, 15 June 2014

Revenge then Love - 15 (epilogue)

Hey guys!! I'm back. First of all, please accept my apology for this late update. Second, I've just finished my exams!! Yes, it's totally the free and relax time now for me so I spent the 1 week break watching dramas, reading e-books on Wattpad and spending more time with none other than my bed. Thirdly, as you can see what will be shown in this chapter... the epilogue!! You guys may be wondering why am I ending this so fast?! Well, because I don't want to leave you guys cliffhanging. (If I did use this word correctly) = = heehee.

Well, really hope you guys love this story and i'm gonna tell you guys, every single one of you that i'm really thankful for all your support. The page views doesn't matter, all that matters is your appreciation of my story. Thank you and do continue reading my blog, I promise I'll make it as interesting as possible. Thanks again.

Lastly, enjoy this long chapter!!

Song: I Like That by Before You Exit   <3 it's awesome, go check it out ((:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFZr36HqKdY

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White sleeveless dress with lacey pastel pink at the bottom. Oh and my black leather jacket, and of course, black high heels. And hey there's still accessories!!

Jane stood in front of the mirror, checking herself up to down again and again and again.

"Babe, you're checking yourself out more than I do to you." Luke winked as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. Oh boy, that's the effect he has on me.

"I'm just nervous. I'm gonna attend school as The Queen. Do you know that's one of the amazing things that has ever happened to me!" I squeaked.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll be with you the whole day. Wait, one of the amazing things?" He grinned knowingly.

"Because you're also one of the amazing thing that God had gave me." I turned back and smiled at him, causing him to tighten his grip around my waist.

"You're my first and last amazing beautiful girlfriend that I ever have." He said, ducking his red face into the crook of my neck, tracing kisses from my earlobe, down my neck and to my collarbone. Yikes, boy you got me turned on.

"Alright, lover boy. We gotta hurry if we don't want to miss lesson." I pulled away from his warm embrace before we both do something irrational. You know what I mean.

"Why hurry, it's TGIF!! We can totally skip school, sneak out and party!!" he suggested.

"It's too early to party. Plus we can leave for home after lessons, why hurry. I still want my grades so come on, let's head out." I smirked, interlocked my hands with his.

-

"Everyone is staring, wanna say something to distract them?" I asked, trying to hide away from those envious eyes.

"Well what can I say. My girlfriend is so hot, how can they not notice?" he faced me, giving me his trademark - his shockingly amazing dazing smirk. Oh boy, that's why you got me falling head over heels. I simply smiled and walked towards the hallway to grab my books. He caught up quickly after saying 'hi' to some of his friends and managing some remarks about me being the Queen.

"Sup loving couples!" I greeted as soon as I saw Vivy and Ryder making out beside my locker.

They immediately broke off as soon as I made my presence known. Ha gotcha, still wanna deny not in a relationship with him uhh? I eyed Vivy as she kept avoiding my gaze. Something is obviously going on for sure.

"So how's it going for you uh, Queen?" Ryder smirked. Geez, these boys sure like smirking.

"It's okay, I guess. Wait, actually it's not because everyone is staring." I ducked my head into Luke's shoulders, blushing.

"You better get use to that now because from now you're the Queen that rules this school." Tim said as he appeared with Aidan and Darren, giving the bad boy vibes and hence, as usual, getting chicks' attentions.

"Yup as well as having us as best friends." Darren winked.

"God, what would I do without you all?" I teased.

"Alright, let's head for class. Music is it?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, let's hurry or else detention." Aidan sulked.

I walked hand in hand with Luke, behind Vivy who was really quiet and Ryder > note: hand intervened too. What just happened? She sure have some explaining to do later on.

***

"Um you guys go ahead for lunch first, I need to go to the toilet." Vivy said.

"I'll come too." I said while hurried after Vivy.

"Hey." I entered the toilet, seeing Vivy touching up her makeup.

"Hi."

"So when were you going to tell me?"

"I... I'm sorry Jane. I didn't mean to hide it from you. I just... I'm not sure if this is right."

"What do you mean by 'right'? You meant if Ryder is really interested in you?"
She nodded her head. Aww girl.

"But you're serious in him, aren't you?"

"Yeah but y'know, he's a player. He ain't going to change that for me like Luke changed for you."

"I know it's difficult for you to trust him but love is rare. If it's here now, you're going to take that chance of having your heart belongs somewhere. People change, you just got to give them a chance."

"Really?"

"I'm 100% sure, besides I can see that Ryder really likes you."

"Okay, I guess I have to give him a chance."

"Alright, now shall we go? The prince awaits." I teased.

She blushed and linked arms with me while heading out for the café.

***

"Hey what took you so long?" Luke whispered in my ear when I took my seat beside him.

"Nothing, just assuring Vivy to accept Ryder." I smiled.

"Ha that boy seriously should grow some balls and ask her out, instead of making her feel so inferior and doubtful."

"Yeah, so what have you got me for lunch?"

"Your favourite mushroom cream spaghetti."

"Thank you!" I leaned in to give him a peck on his cheek.

We sat in the round table which is located in the middle of the café which obviously was for the popular ones.

"Get out of my way!" A high-pitched voice shrieked suddenly.

"That should be you, Devon. You're not the Queen bee in this school anymore. Get a life and fuck off." Another voice interrupted.

Before my senses kicked in, I was already walking towards the commotion.

"Hey stop. What's happening?"

"It's none of your business, Sherlock." Chris hissed.

"Well, she still thinks she's the Queen of this school and thought she still have the power of making people do whatever she orders." A guy from the crowd shouted and a few acknowledgement came by.

Before I could see tears rolling down her face, Chris made a dash for the nearby girl's toilet.

"Hey, I'm going to take a look. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." I took my bag and headed for the same way Chris went after Luke briefly nod his head.

***

I pushed the door open then close. I spotted Chris sitting at a corner with her legs against her chest and her face buried in between.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked genuinely with concern.

"Fuck off." She spat.

I knelt down beside her, placing a hand on her arm.

"You know what, I'm sick of your nonsense but if you are going out with your face full of black stains because of the mascara, then I'm sure to laugh my ass off at you."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm not doing anything."

"Why are you being so kind to me? After all those that I've done to you?" She lifted her head up and stared at me.

"Well I think you deserve a tight slap from me but I won't. Because of you, I got my heart broken but you also gave me a chance of falling in love again."

"You should hate me. You should not haven't came in. I'm too ashamed to face you right now."

"Of course you should be ashamed, look at you. Where's the confident and beautiful lady that always bullied me?"

"You really don't blame me?"

"I did blamed you but everything is over right now."

"I'm sorry, I really am."

"I know, so come on. I'll help you touch up your face. Oh and I've an extra set of clothes at my locker. Wait for me." I said after seeing her white blouse stained with slimy things that come from the nose after crying and her stained lipstick and mascara.

She nodded and soon I returned within 5 minutes and get on with work.

***

"I'm done. Now look at yourself in the mirror."

"Wow." She stared at the mirror which reflected her in my vintage tank top and short jean shorts. I helped tie her hair up in a French braid and gave her a day look makeup. Now she look normal yet stunning.

"Now, shall we get going?"

"Thank you Jane."

"You're welcome."

"Before you go, I want to tell you some things."

"Sure."

"First, I'm really sorry for being mean at you."

"You've said that a million times already."

"Let me finish. Second, Danny left for Germany because he was ashamed to be here."

"Okay, anymore?"

"Last, Luke was drunk once when I found him at our, now yours, dorm. He said something about you."

"What did he say?"

"He said along those lines that you couldn't remember him anymore, and that you wouldn't look at him the same way you did when you were younger. Are you guys childhood sweethearts or something?"

"No I don't think so. If we were, I would have remembered."

"Oh then maybe I heard wrongly. Sorry."

"It's okay. Let's get going."

***

After school, Luke and I headed for my home.

"Mom, we're back!" I shouted.

"Hey honey, how's school?"

"Good."

"Oh okay I was just cleaning..." She stopped abruptly when she came down. "Hey Luke."

"Hi Julie." He smiled and so my mom returned the favour.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Luke's my boyfriend now."

"Really? That's wonderful. You guys should have got together long time ago if not for..." She stopped as if what's she going to say next is a secret that cannot be revealed.

"Jane, could you go up first? I would like to have a word with Luke." she asked.

"Yeah sure." I turned to Luke as he mouthed, I'll be fine to me.



******** Luke Galen's POV ********

"Luke?"

"Yes?"

"Have you told her yet?"

"Nope, but I was thinking if it's alright to tell her now."

"I guess you can. But if possible could you do me a favour too?"

"Sure, why not."

She leaned in and whispered something that made my eyes bulged.

And guess what I was thinking:

Oh shit...


******** Jane Sherlock's POV ********

What is it that mom wants to talk about?

He broke my thoughts as he entered my room and sat beside me on my blue couch.

His mind seems far away.

I scooted to him so that our arms and thighs touched. I put my hand in his which were held in fists, then slowly, he caved in and relaxed.

"I have something to tell you, Jane."

Oh no.

Is he going to break up with me?

What did my mom told him?

What the eff is going on?

Shit.

"I'm in love with you." His words made relief washed my face.

"But..." Oh man, what the hell!?

"I've a confession to make."

Is he going to tell me that he cheated on me?

Wait I'm not ready to hear all these. I need a break.

With these wild thoughts in my head, I made a dash for my balcony.

"Jane!"

I immediately broke down into tears when he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me to my bed.

"Are you going to break up with me?" I stuttered.

"What! No!" He shouted frantically.

"Then what were you going to tell me?"

He walked to the other side of my bed and pulled me so I was hugging his right side of his body, head on his chest while his arms are wrapped around me tightly, as if he's scared that I will run away again.

"I have to tell you. But promise me you aren't going to run away again, please?" This time, he pulled away and stared at me. His eyes were full of emotions that I can't decipher.

I don't trust my voice because he would have recognise the weakness in it so I nodded before returning to his arms.

"I know you're not ready to accept what's coming from my mouth but I have to, since your mom has already approved."

My mom? What has she got to do with this?

"Jane Sherlock, you've known me since we were young. We were childhood sweethearts."

We were childhood what!?

"What!" I shrieked as I sat up, facing him with an unbelievable look.

"Let me finish this, please?" He pleaded.

I nodded, looking down at our intervened hands, he gave a slight squeeze before returning to whatever he was saying.

"We were really close and your parents always tease us, saying that we'll be the cutest couple when we grow up. However, one day I was supposed to meet you at your house. The door wasn't locked so I walked in and up to your room. But meanwhile, I passed by your dad's study room and found out that your parents were quarrelling. Your mom (Julie) was shouting at your dad (Paul). I overheard that your dad have been embezzling his company's money. He did that because he didn't have any extra income for his mistress and their child." He looked at me but I asked him to continue.

I couldn't believe that we're actually childhood sweethearts.

I couldn't believe that my dad would do such things too.

It's too ridiculous.

"They then found me outside the room so they pulled me in and start explaining to me. Your dad told me off and said that if I were to tell anybody else, he would forbid us to see each other again. Therefore, I kept it a secret. After awhile, your dad had passed away. You were so depressed and traumatic because you witnessed his death. Soon, you gotten yourself sick despite the continuous nightmares. After a few days, you recovered, but when I visited you, you asked who am I. I was so shocked and sad but your mom told me that the doctor had diagnosed you to be suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is known as PTSD. I don't know why you somehow deleted me from your memory, as well as your life. Ever since, I've been checking on you to see if you were any better of if you're doing well. It upsets me when you're with Danny. I wanted you to remember me and all the things we've done in the past but also, I was scared that you will be reminded of the accident." He finished, then slowly look at me with sadness and helpless.

"I... I barely have nightmares of my dad's accident already. I was healed. And I really still haven't got back any memories of you. Except the few days after I saw your sketch book. How did we really meet?"

He took out his sketch book and flipped to the first page.

"The very first time we met was at the playground down town. I fell down from the swing and you helped me up. You tried talking to me but I felt inferior because I was an adopted kid. The next day you bought your lunch box and shared with me. Since then, we kept hanging out and we reckoned each other as best friends, naively thinking that it would be forever. I've liked you since then and we kept hanging out each day, playing the swings, building sandcastles on the fake sand pit and so on. Everyone in town always compliment us. But everything changed since your dad passed away."

"It sucks isn't it?"

"What?" He questioned.

"That I couldn't recognised my own childhood sweethearts."

"It is."

"So my mom also decided to keep it from me, fear that after I recall everything, it will worsen my condition?"

"Yeah."

"And you dumbly agreed their condition. Choosing to see me in be with a jerk and decide that you will play the noble man?"

"No, I didn't mean that. I was just..."

I silenced him by placing my lips on his. He gladly move his lips against mine.

I pulled back, trying to gasp for air.

"And..."

"What is it?"

"I'm sorry."

"Why? It's not your fault."

"Okay then but..."

"Ugh!"

"I love you."

"I love you too!"

We leaned in for another kiss.

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Okay guys, this story is officially over!! Hope you guys like it. Please also stay tune because I've thought of the next story's plot. I promise I will improve my writing each day, each time. Thank you guys for always being here to support me.

Well this isn't much of an ending because true love has no endings, it lasts forever and ever.

Thanks all again!!


Love,
Eileen < My real name in case you don't know. xP


Peace out (:

Monday, 31 March 2014

Revenge then Love - 14

Hey readers!! Feels great to be back (:


Life has been like on the Ferris wheels, when it brought me upwards, I could see the whole picture but when it brought me down, I only saw things to a certain extent. But, it taught me to view things at different aspects.

How's yours 2014 going on? Leave me a note if you want to!!

And I want you guys to know that I always laugh when I re-read the previous chapters. I hope I made them hilarious and you guys did laughed heartily while reading. Leave comments below to let me know if you guys like it or not and give me feedback too!! Haters or likers, are free to comment ((:

Follow me on Twitter for my blog and you guys are free to mention me to!! : @twisparkle_ or my personal acc: @ann0ying_e

Lastly,
Happy reading!!

Song suitable for this chapter: Beating Heart by Ellie Goulding

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******** Jane Sherlock's POV ********

We kissed.

There's sparks.

It was incredible.

I pulled back, leaning our forehead against each other's. My eyes were closed, enjoying the moment.

"Jane."

"Hmm..."

"Open your eyes."

"No."

"Why?"

"Cause no."

He snickered and asked again.

"Open your eyes, pretty please with strawberry tops the whipped cream?"

I giggled, opening my eyes and met his beautiful eyes.

"I love you."

I gasped a little.

"How..."

"I love you."

"Why?"

"There's much to explain but i'll tell you that someday. I promise. Now would you please go get ready for the audition?" He pouted.

"Go with me?"

"Yes."

He took my hands in his and walked towards the performing theatre.

*

When we entered the theatre, i already spotted Vivy and the boys. And none other than Chris Devon and her followers.

We made our way to the gang.

"Wow guys, look at him. He confessed." Aidan cooed.

"Ooh someone's whipped!" Vivy cheered.

"Hey guys!" I chirped.

"Hey!" they said union, happily.

"So, did the dude just confessed?" Darren asked.

I looked at Luke, who was blushing hardly upon the comment before nodding my head and smiled.

"OMG, tell me the details later. Quick go register your name, the audition's starting in 5."

"I'll go with you." Luke said, putting his arms around me.

*

"Hi everyone, glad to know that there's as usual 4 participants. So now, i'm gonna read out the names. First up, Chris Devon. Second, Flo Dennis. Third, Suzy Arnold. Lastly, Jane Sherlock. Let's welcome the first girl." Mr Ernst, the founder of this stupid campaign, announced.

"Hi Mr Ernst and fellow friends. I'm Chris Devon. Please vote me to be the Queen of this campaign."

Claps.

"Alright, Chris. First of all, why do you wanna win this campaign?"

"I have to win because I want to outshine everyone and i'll do my best to be a good Queen and attend to everyone's needs."

"Oh like spreading your legs for jocks?" Some random guy shouted out and caused everyone to laugh. Chris was red with fury.

"Okay that was unnecessary. Secondly, what qualities do you think you have to win?"

"I'm pretty, of course. Smart, rich, have a sense of fashion and besides, I've won this campaign for consecutive 3 years therefore i'm confident I can win."

"Well, that's very confident of you. So, how's your boyfriend like?"

"Well he's Danny Wilfred. He's very sweet, good on bed, good at making me scream for his name and basically, good for me."

Some jocks in the theatre scoffed. Mr Ernst faked a cough before proceeding.

"Okay so lastly, why do you think about girls who self-harm?"

I basically stiffed when that question was being asked. And I knew that Luke sensed that too, he grabbed me hand and give it a tight squeeze that meant that 'don't worry, it's fine, i'm here with you'. In return, I braced myself for a smile at him.

"I think these girls are plainly stupid."

"May I ask why is that so?"

"Only useless girls would harm themselves."

"Okay thanks for your speech."


*


"Alright, lastly let's welcome Jane Sherlock."

Shit, I'm fucking nervous. I quickly glanced at Luke, only to find him staring at me with a reassuring smile.

"Well, hi guys. I'm Jane."

"Hi back to you. So Jane, first why do you wanna win this campaign?"

"Honestly?"

He nodded his head.

"Well, I don't know. It was honestly to piss off some people. But since i'm already up here there's no turning back so I might as well give it a try."

"Thanks for your honesty. Secondly, what qualities do you think you have to win?"

"Well I think I could stand up for people I believe in, people who got bullied and looked down on."

Everyone cheered. The loudest was Luke, Vivy and the guys.

"Hmm that's good. Thirdly, how's your boyfriend like?"

"He's sweet, caring, thoughtful, kind, and he will always know what's bothering me and will always be there for me."

"Wow, sounds like a great guy. Mind telling us who is he?"

"He's Luke Galen." I said without hesitating.

Everyone turned to look at him and I caught him staring at me, smiling widely and showed his white pearly teeth.

"Mm good-looking guy I see. Okay so lastly, why do you think about girls who self-harm?"

I hesitated. I knew this would happened. Shit. What am I supposed to do? I quickly searched for his eyes and saw him nodding his head as if telling me to relax and just speak what's on my mind. I smiled back with a little confidence before proceeding to let the words fall out of my mouth.


"I think they are beautiful. Firstly, they self-harm will either because of school stress or family stress or because they got bullied. People shouldn't discriminate each other causing one's self-esteem to drop. Some bullies often called one nasty names, ask them go die or kill themselves which these depressed people would actually do it. I think that it's wrong to do that. People are all beautiful in their own ways.

No matter who you are, fat or skinny, tall or short, you're always pretty. Sometimes people are just used to being sad and alone, that he or she forgot how to be happy. And sometimes, the same question like 'are you okay' is being asked, the always same lie 'i'm fine' is being replied. And I find that very unfair to those who's got bullied. Some people just think its cool to have one being pressed under them. But they do not even care about the pain that's emotionally killing them slowly. It's really unfair to see people self-harm because bullies out there caused them to.

It's really un-cool to bully people or speak bad of them. Imagine you're the one getting all these insults, how would you feel? I know how it feels to be fat and people around are just so insensitive to your feelings. Like seriously, what's wrong with society? People make fun of people who are fat. People say you have anorexia when you're damn skinny. You can never please the people.

So everyone should help each other. Feel proud in who you are. Be proud of yourself and don't be afraid to seek help if you're self-harming. I know it's difficult but at least try. It won't hurt for trying. Feel proud of your skin. No matter who you are, as long as you heard these, don't doubt my words because they're true. And always remember i'll be here if you need me.

Therefore, everyone should surrender to what it is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be. So reach out to help your friends who have been self-harming." I said, tearing up.

"Wow, that's an amazing speech."

Everyone stood up, some crying, cheered for me and clapped.

"Thank you."

"I hope you don't mind but how do you know so much? I mean how did you able to feel so much emotions?"

"Honestly, I used to self-harm."

Everyone gasped, including Luke. I know what his thinking. He must be thinking that how could I be able to say out something so personal. But still, I had to.

"Wow, I mean that's courageous of you to encourage people. Well done. What do you intend to do when you grew up?"

"A psychologist."

"Hmm, impressive. Thank you and have a sit please. Okay guys, I think we'll all have our results for who to vote, am I right to say that? So everyone please choose 1, 2, 3 or 4 and please start to enter now and send it to 1234656."

~5 minutes later~

"Alright, I have the results now. Chris, 4 votes. Flo, 3 votes. Suzy, 3 votes. Jane, 35 votes. So congratulation to Jane Sherlock, our Queen for this year's campaign!"

I screamed as Mr Ernst placed a tiara on my head, gave me a bouquet of flowers and a trophy.

Oh my fuck god.

"Omg you did it!" Vivy screamed.

"Yes, I did it. We did it. Arghhhh!!!!"

"Congrats Jane." Aidan smiled.

"Yeah you were great up there!" Tim cheered.

"Good one!" Ryder laughed.

"Aw man, you made me tear up. Damn you." Darren sniffed.

"Sweetheart."

I froze.

"You were... really amazing. I can't believe you told them such personal thing but I was proud of you. You were so brave and stunning up there when you gave the speech. You totally rocked my heart."

I smiled at how sincere his words was and placed my arms around him, sniffing in his scent before whispering in his ears,

"I'm here because of you. You made me brave. You deserved what I've gotten."

"Don't be silly, you were really amazing."

"I can show you how amazing I am."

"Like what?'

"Come closer."

"Like this." Without further ado, I leaned in and gave him the most passionate kiss.

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Oh my gosh!! I totally love this chapter (:

Hope you guys liked it and thanks for reading!!

Hope you guys didn't mind me for getting too sentimental about self-harming, because what I said are all from the bottom of my heart. Marked my words because i'll be here if you guys needed someone to talk to.

Have a nice day and rest well!!

*peace out*

((:


~Twisparkle.

Friday, 7 March 2014

Missing you

Well wishes to all my readers. I'm sorry to let you guys have the idea that i'm blogging Chapter 14 today. Really very sorry but no worries because Chapter 14 is already half-way done.

Song for this post: Human by Christina Perri

Well firstly, this blog post is to talk about my cousin, Emily. I really miss her a lot. Ever since she's gone, everything at home, in our family, falls apart. Everything that was built all crashed down like relationship between one another. Every dinner time when everyone sits together and eat, my mind always drift to Emily. I can't forget how much smiles she managed to put on our faces, how much love we gave her, how much pain we suffer from losing her and how much pain she suffered that one month plus in hospital.

Everything is really out of order now. Family members still could not get over her. Quarrels and disputes everyday. Family drama everyday. Who could ever understand why i became so distant and emotional everyday in school every since 2014 starts??

The pain is unbearable but i'm trying my best to be happy. Even when i'm feeling very sad, sentimental and emotional, i will still think of funny jokes to make my family laugh. That's the least i could do. What else can i do to take away the pain?? I will do anything for them and her, in a heartbeat.

I just hope family drama don't get too much and out of control because everything might end up making them cry and leave an unanswerable impact. I will still remember her.

Dear Emily,

How are you?? I love you Emily.
 <3

Love, 
 Eileen.


. . .

Saturday, 8 February 2014

Revenge then Love - 13

Okay first of all, i wanna apologise to all my readers out there. I'm sorry that i haven't been able to update my blog due to my studies. Please forgive me...
 And lastly, happy reading & thank you for reading my blog ((: #teehee >.<
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Day by day passed. Today is a 'Show-What-You-Can-Do-To-Be-The-Winner in the upcoming Beauty Campaign.'

"How am i suppose to survive?" I questioned, eyeing myself from head to toe from the reflection in my mirror.

I was wearing a white sleeveless crop top that read: BOSS, sky blue jeans and my super high studded black heels.

"You don't have to worry."

I was shocked by the husky voice. Oh crap i forgotten that im living with my fake boyfriend right now. My life is so great. *note sarcasm*

"Good morning to you too." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well, i didn't mean to sneak up on you. It's just amusing to see you get all nervous until you could mumble to yourself."

"Ha, so funny. Keep your smart ass comments to yourself, i don't need it."

"Pissed off?"

"Yes!" I screamed.

"Why? I didn't do anything to you, not of that i've remembered."

"You made me do this stupid beauty campaign."

"Well it was for your revenge too."

"We could seek for another way, couldn't we?"

"It was the simplest thing. All you have to do is to be pretty like you already are then just kick her ass off."

Im not gonna lie that i didn't blush on that but im still pissed.

"It's not that easy."

"You won't know till you try."

"You don't understand."

"I do."

"Oh then explain my feelings now."

"You're just lack of confidence."

"No."

"Then why not you tell me how you feel then?"

"No."

"See, sweetheart, you're the one making everything seems so complicated right now."

"Am not."

"Whatever."

"Yeah whatever, it's not like you care."

"Yeah because i'm just your fake boyfriend."

I don't want you to be just my fake boyfriend.

"I never asked you to be."

I was wishing you could ask me out on a real date.

"Fine, i'll back out. Shall see how you're gonna deal with that stupid and waste of time revenge plan."

I don't want revenge anymore, i just want you.

"Fine, just leave."

Don't go.

And there he goes, slamming the door that causes me to wince.

You're so stupid Jane.

Why did you let him go?

After all this time, he's the one who held secrets that you desire to know.

He's the one you're after for.

You like him, don't you?

"No, i love him." I whispered.

"I don't know why, i just do."

You don't love him, get it Jane Sherlock!

"But i do."

You're just lonely after the relationship with Danny.

"I'm not."

Don't deny.

"I really am not."

You know your own feelings.

"I do love him. I really do."

Just follow wherever your heart leads you.

"Hmm..."

*

"You ready for the audition?" Vivy asked.

"Yeah."

"But you don't sound too happy."

"Im fine."

"You sure? I know you like the front and back of my hand."

"Sigh, it's just Luke."

"What about him?"

"We had a quarrel just now."

"Uh-huh..."

"So i kinda pissed him off and he said he's going to back out."

"What!" She screeched, earning some death stares from the people around us.

"Shh, not so loud please."

"Sorry not sorry. What did you do to make him back out? You're seriously gonna win him back. He's crucial."

"I can do the revenge plan just you and me. We don't need him."

"Seriously? JJ, what's wrong?"

"I'm... it's just... Urgh!"

"You really like him, don't you?"

"How did you know?"

"Like i said, i know you like the front and back of my hand."

"I just don't want to fall in love again."

"You have already got over Dick, didn't you?"

"I.. I..I'm not sure."

"What!"

"Vivy, can you stop shouting? It's giving me a headache."

"Jane Sherlock, this plan was to get back to him showing how well you can live without him. And seriously now you're saying you don't know how you feel about him and Luke?! What's your problem right now, seriously? We're all trying to help you, why can't you understand."

I'm not joking when i said that Vivy look really scary when she's mad.

"I... please, Vivy. I don't want to fight with you."

"This ain't working because i'm gonna have this fight with you. Until you cleared your mind and go and talked to Luke, don't come and find me. I'm very disappointed in you."

"Vivy, please don't go."

She remained quiet and walked away. Why did i have to lose two person today? Yeah, what was my problem?

"Jane?"

"Danny?" Yeah great, just the person i want to see. 

"Are you okay?"

"No."

"Come here." He said, offering his hand to me. I didn't reject because i really need a shoulder to cry on now.

I hugged him as soon as pulled me close to him. I missed his touch.

"Are you okay now?" He asked as he pulled us apart.

"Yeah."

"Jane, you still have feelings for me. Don't you?"

"I... I..."

"You aren't denying, so can we get back together?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't have feelings for you anymore."

"But..."

"That hug, was a mistake. I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea."

"Jane, kiss me."

"What!"

"You said you don't have feelings for me so kiss me to prove it."

"I don't have to."

"You're just scared. You're scared that if we kissed, i'd make you go crazy. You're scared of having the feeling for me again."

Without a word, i lunged forward, kissing him hardly as i could.

He immediately kissed me back. I was the one who pulled back before i got his hormones up. Im not gonna lie. I really didn't have anymore feelings for him.

"What's wrong, Jane?"

"You. You're my root of trouble."

******** Luke Galen's POV ********

What the hell was that woman's problem?

She kissed him!

She initiated the kiss!

What the fuck!

No wait what?

What's going on now?

Luke questioned himself as he saw Jane pushed Danny away.

I smiled. No, let me correct that. I'm grinning like a little boy who's very happy after gotten himself a candy.

I ain't gonna lie about my feelings to Jane. I like...love her. I love her since we're young. Since she initiated to be friends with me when everyone refused. Ever since, i've been protecting her without she knowing it. From that incident till now, i've never been so sorry for hurting her like that.

I stopped grinning as Jane stopped in her tracks and saw me. She hung her head down upon seeing me. I walked up to her.

"Looks like you had a great time there."

"I... you saw?"

"Yup!"

"I'm sorry."

"For?"

"Im only gonna do this once, and please forget about it the very next moment."

"What you gonna..."

I haven't got the chance to finish what i was gonna say, she lunged forward, crashing her lips against mine. She tastes sweet.

"I... ilikeyou." She mumbled.

I immediately pulled back.

"What did you just said?"

"I said, i like... you." she blushed.

"Gosh, i can't hear you."

"Forget it."

"I was kidding only."

"But..."

"Can i do something?"

She nodded her head and i went forward, claiming her lips to mine. I smiled.

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Sorry for this short update ((: I'll try my best to update the next one soon.This chapter is a small teasing to all of you!! Hope you guys liked it ((:

xxxPeaceOutxxx



~Twisparkle.